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16 October 2009 @ 08:38 pm
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 Back in high school, I had recurring dreams of suddenly waking up at night due to bullets being fired at my door.  I'd wake up breathing heavily, thinking it was real.  Knowing that it can happen.  This dreams stopped coming when I entered college and loved the safety of my dorm room.

I have never felt more safe anywhere else.  And yes, Elbi is my refuge, specially now.

I dread going home tomorrow even though I terribly miss my mother.  But my paranoia back in high school was awakened by my sister's 3AM phone  call.  It is not comforting that my sister feels the same thing. Home is supposed to be the safest place on earth.  But it doesn't feel like that anymore. I only feel safe here in Elbi. :(  Sadly, it would be too selfish for me to stay here.

I really hope everything will be okay.  That nothing else bad will happen.  I guess there would be change of plans regarding my father's return.  And also, I would be too terrified to go to San Pablo to actually meet up with high school friends.  Gah. :/

What a nice way to start the sembreak.  Whew.

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Please pray for our kuya. :(


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